Chapter 3:

“I’m in The Matrix, I can do whatever the fuck I want!”

Ok, where was I?  I was in The Matrix which looked suspiciously like my bedroom. My bedroom was undergoing renovations from the time we moved in and wasn’t worked on or finished until a couple years after I moved out. The old plaster walls were multiple colors. Plaster grey and old-ass pink for some reason. The nicest part of the room was the hardwood floor, which I was laying on because after I dodged the bullets I fell on it. I began flopping around like a combination of someone having a seizure, (maybe I was, who knows or cares), and a proverbial fish. I spent an unknown amount of time doing this. It progressed into “break dancing” of some nature. I was trying to do head stands unsuccessfully and I hypothesize it was making quite a ruckus. How did I come to make this hypothesis?  I noticed Ron and Otis whom were both upside down along with everything else in sight, yelling at me with looks of horror on their faces. Keep in mind Ron was also tripping but evidently not as hard as I was. I immediately knew this due to the fact that I wasn’t the one giving strange looks to people. I’m sure my behavior warranted those looks.   “Ryan, what the fuck? Are you alright?”, was being shouted at me. Once everything was right side up again I got to my feet. That’s when the sound waves coming from any and all vocal cords traveled through the air, morphed into messages from god, entered my ear, vibrating the sterup and anvil which tapped my eardrum. My brain or rather the acid in my brain translated the vibrations into sounds and voices that came from the dimension where god lives,(or so I assumed).  The walls were now yellow and made out of cinder blocks.  I walked to the wall closest to my friends and started punching holes in the wall. What normal, functional, member of society wouldn’t in that situation? “Dude, what the fuck! Stop! Stop!”, they exclaimed. After the acid wore off they told me they said that, and you know what? I believe them. I paused for a moment just long enough to scream, ” I’m in The Matrix! I can do whatever the fuck I want!”. I followed that with things like: “Rrrraaahhh!” and “Grrrrrr!”, and of course with more punching of the wall. Otis and Ron were in shock. I suppose they didn’t know what to do other than stand there watching being as it were, to put it the way our British cousins across the sea would, this was all that they did. My brother came up stairs to see what was happening. First he shouted at them. “Why the fuck are you just standing there? Stop him!”, which was a pretty good question, he said pushing through them so he could shout at me. He threatened to “…fuck me up…”, orders me to go sit downstairs and calm down. So I did part of that. The joke was on him and the hole was in my bedroom wall. When the punching ended that hole was 2 or 3ft in diameter. I calmed down. A feat of great proportions in and of its self, took three very quick steps into the hallway then punched a few small holes in one of those walls. Not because I wanted to but because I had to. Why? I was training. Come on, I was in a war with machines that wanted me dead. How could I not train? “Yo bitch, stop. I’m serious. I’ll fuck you up if you keep doin’ that shit.” Shawn gets a great idea at this time, “Otis, grab his legs and put him in the bathtub!”. So that’s exactly what they did as I kicked and screamed repeatedly, “God’s biggest joke! God’s biggest joke!”. They threw me into the tub and not to gently from what I remember with my face directly under the faucet. The water flowing into my opens eyes looked pretty cool I must admit, but over all being water boarded by my friends and family was very unpleasent. LSD, Instinct and god all told me to “Get the heck outta there!”. From what I could gather god sounded much like myself in my head. That is not to say I’m god, but perhaps my own god for the night. I don’t know what the hell was going on. Anyway I climbed out of the tub to instantly have a towel thrown directly into my face which block my vision. In the darkness of the towel I saw many things not of this world or rather aspects of this world not to be seen by mortal eyes. Let me say this: I’ve always used Hallucinogens in a shamanic manner. You know consciousness expansion, get in touch with nature, reality and hopefully find out if god does exist. I don’t know if it was god I contacted that night but it was something. Perhaps the universe its self. Back to the narrative. I lunged towards my brother since he threw the towel in my face with my arms outstretched like Frankenstein’s monster. I finally i took the towel of my face and said, ” This is god’s room. This is love’s room. Can’t you feel it?”, and I actually calmed down on my own. My brother sent everyone but his girlfriend down stairs as I went into his room and stood there, looked at the box fan sitting on a footstool of something then I did the thing after Neo jumps into Agent Smith, explosion so on so on, then neo flexes and the walls move in the spherical energy waves. Well i flexed saw the room move in those waves of energy and punch the fan of the stool on to the floor. Making as sound like a child playing ninja, “yahhh!”  My brother tells me to lay down on the extra bed, which I did. And wrapped my arms around myself and began to have sex with the bed. Hey! It beats being raped by the devil or by anyone for that matter. Trust me. Everyone sees this, whispers among themselves, turn out the light,(bad move), and shut the door. The only whisper I could make out was, “Shhhh. Just let him be. he’ll be alright.”

Chapter 4:

“I’m everything!”

I’m the the dark bedroom all alone and feel pretty good. Other than my bloody hands from punching the walls, but I couldn’t even feel them. I was in a place of bliss and peace. I’m sure it was because I didn’t have 3 people yelling at me and telling what I should or shouldn’t be doing. Right now I was doing the bed for some reason I’ve yet to figure out. By doing the bed I mean I was fucking the bed. Is that weird considering everything you read so far? I do think so.  After that stopped a bright white spotlight from nowhere shines on me. This is where i’m going to make a list of everything and everyone I became. I shouted everything I became. Here’s the list:

1: I’m energy!
2: I’m Andy! (the guy who took me to the rave
where I got the tape that set this whole crazy
thing into motion.)
3: I’m black!
4: I’m love!
5: I’m everything!
6: I’m Woooooo!
7: I’m Ron!
8: I’m Andy (a different andy I knew from a couple
classes in high school. He was pretty cool.)
9: I’m…..
This is where my brother and his girlfriend
Tanisha came into the room to calm me down and
babysit me.
10: I’m a girl.
“You’re a girl?”, my brother asked. Tanisha
laughing and telling him to stop. He said “No, he’s
good. Watch.”
“Yeah i’m a girl.”, “Do you want a bra?” my
brother questioned. “No, I’m ok.”
“Do you want a dildo?”, I replied in a normal,
calm tone as if it were a valid question, “Nah,
I’m good.”
11: “I have a big dick.”. To which Tanisha said,”
You have a big dick?”. I said, “Yeah.”, in a non-
chalant way. I’ve never been one to brag about my
penis. I never thought to myself, ” Hey I have a
big dick.”. I’m not saying it small. It’s
perfectly proportionate to my body size. I go by
the results I get not by measurements. Just as
with my writing,  I may know it’s good but if the
reader likes it then I’m good to go. Same thing
with my penis except she doesn’t read it she rides
it. Ok enough about my member, back to the story.
12: I’m everything!
When my brother saw that the acid was fading to a degree at which I could be around other people he decides it’s time for us to join the three others and sit at the table in the kitchen. That’s where the beer, weed, (medicinal, wink wink. “Wink wink” means it wasn’t medicinal, but it was good medicine.), was. Tanisha went down to the kitchen first probably to warn everyone and to let them know I was calm. I bet she even said for them not to make sudden movements, loud noises or play music. Especially jungle music. If that’s what she said I agree with her. Along with many other aspects of the night we will never know for sure what was said. My brother makes me walk down the stairs before him to make sure I don’t turn around, run to my room and play music. He stands until I’m seated in a chair then he seats himself. Tanisha on my right, Ron directly in front of me on the opposite side of the table, Otis next to Ron and Shawn sitting at the end next to his girl and Otis. Poor, Poor, Lauren sitting at the end of the table was sitting right next to me. Apparently she was very scared and crying. I found this out a day or two after the event. Why was she crying? I didn’t even do anything. Here we have the entire group in silence for what seemed an eternity. Which in my perception it was. Soon everyone began chatting quietly so as not to get me going again. I looked at Ron and he morphed into Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails, then a few seconds later he morphed into Marilyn Manson. Ok, that’s no problem. I love their music. I didn’t realize Otis was still there so lets forget about him for now. I look at Lauren and she morphed into my ex. The ex whom was my first everything. The ex who crushed my heart. I saw the ex but some part of me knew it was Lauren, but that didn’t stop me from screaming, “Lauren… …Is a BITCH!”. Hey, they both were bitches, ok? Anyway I know it was the ex I was yelling about. It pretty much was a case of an apple looking like an apple. In this particular case I saw a green sour apple that looked like a green sour apple. Get it? I know you do. After that I closed my eyes, began playing some kind of spelling game, and as I sat with my eyes closed I began to say everything that was going on around me. This is when the out-of-body experience started. Maybe it had been going on for a while because when I remember most of what I’ve told you I see myself from a certain angle and it never changes.


Next installment:
CHAPTER 5: “Blunt. I can spell it. B-L-U-N-T”



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