Damage and Repair

Hey everyone, This is another one from when I was 18. It’s the 4th poem I’ve ever written. The first three were destroyed in the washing machine after I left them in my pocket. Oh well, this one is darker than my previous posts. Here goes…

 

Damage and Repair:

Reality is closing down.  Can’t tell if I smile or frown.  All these things surround.  Inside my head they pound.  In chemicals they drown.  Like smeared make up of a clown.   I’m on my way down.  Just go around, around and around.

Where am I bound to be?  What is my destiny? What will make me see?  What can set me free?  Self-worth equivalent to a flea. What is to become of me? Like a tree with roots that are rotting, twisted, and tangled.  Like an insect dying, decaying, and mangled.  What are these feelings? Do they have meanings?  Reflect teachings and preaching?  Some needed goal I’m not reaching?

I sink so low into myself.  A dusty book on the shelf. My thoughts are my only wealth.Bitter pills deteriorate my health.  Must open my eyes.  Have to look to the skies.  I must try.  I will not let myself die. Goodbye to all the lies.  That you put inside.  That i wouldn’t allow myself to find. No longer will I remain blind.  You had so many things up your sleeve.  No more being naive.  I’m glad you made me leave. These things I say, I truly believe. I shall no longer grieve.

I was letting life slip, but now i have a slight grip. My time spent with you was rip. Poisonous lips.  My love for you which was oh so great. Is now a septic tank of hate. My feelings you raped. My heart you scraped.

You took my innocence.  You stole my pride.  You never truly wanted me, you lied and i cried.  Now I see I’m the one who tried. I was probably right about all those things you denied.

After all these events i keep a smile on my face.  Inside of me, what you did ripped opened a tiny space.  I wish I found it without you, but it let’s me leave this place. Fills my soul with grace.  It is something you can not deface.  It comes from a wonderfully mysterious place. It can not be replaced.

 

Yeah, well.  There it is.  A bit uneven, just like life. The waves are either in ebb or flow.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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